Alright, alright I admit it! Apparently, I no longer have standards in life, because I kill my brain cells weekly with a healthy hour-long dose of VH1's latest train-wreck dating show, Daisy of Love. It's true... I enjoy watching these tattooed neanderthals compete for a chance to bang a walking blow up doll! Are you happy now? Jesus, get off my back!
Anyways, last week our "rocker princess" (and I use that term extremely loosely, as loose as Daisy's... ahh, let's keep this PG-13) grew some balls and kicked off the playboy of the series, Fox. This post will henceforth be a loving dedicating to the man who is as smooth as a baby's silky skin, Fox (a.k.a Daniel).
Ahh Fox! You won me over with your boyish smile, your insta-tan, and makeup skills that far surpass any I'll ever have in my lifetime. The plethora of hipster tattoos, the beanies, and skintight Ts-- could you look any more like a sexily low-budget version of Johnny Depp! And let's not forget your witty moments. That one time you showed off your humorous side when you asked "Who's Marilyn Monroe?"! Oh, wait, you actually meant that. Your smooth talking mumbo-jumbo was enough to even confuse me! Or maybe that was because my four year old cousin can articulate himself better than you can. Either way, Fox, you truly are a master of words, a man of wisdom, and one hot piece of hipster ass.
Fox, we salute you!