Monday, August 24, 2009

Words That People Use. And I Hate.

With the advent of blogs, proper diction has basically become a fond memory of a yesteryear that includes POGS and Rolling Stone issues that were actually relevant. Descriptive words are no longer in demand. I mean, who gives a fuck about words like "retrospect" or "stunning" when you have replacements as suitable as "LOLZOMGEEZIES" or "ROFLFMLDUDEZ". Srsly!

Keeping all of this in mind, I've composed a list of internet-popular words that everyone seems to *heart* using, and a compilation of all the various reasons why I hate said words.

Every time I use this word, I feel like a 5 ft tall version of Arnold Schwarzenegger squeezing on some political reporter's poor unsuspecting buttocks. Squeezing tightly. Basically, it makes my stomach churn major cookies.

I can just picture the Keds-wearing morons who came up with this cunning combo. They got way too high and sat around with a loaf of brie that would have tasted so much better if they had warmed it just 42 seconds longer. One of the brie-inhaling morons somehow managed to use the word "cluster". Someone else said "fuck". And then, a dim light bulb went off. They all looked at each other, then texted their friends. And thus, "clusterfuck" was born.

Ok. I get it. You don't like something. But do we really need to waste solid capital letters on you whining about how "EPICally" you hate something? How over-dramatic can you be?

Using this word reminds me of being at a 6th birthday party, watching the clown that was supposed to make your little brother laugh instead cause him to wet his pants. In fear. Thank the hipsterrunoff for this one.

Obama in the White House is cool. Obama on your limited edition snowboard, which cost 400 bones, is not.

If you haven't realized this list is totally ironicz and sarcastic, being that I use all of these words about 50-ba-jillionz times a day, then... OMG. Get a life dude!



  1. i am at fault for using two of these words on a daily basis. the other ones...NO MAS!

  2. haha, great list. But you put REAL TALK as one of your labels. Real talk is definitely on my list

  3. SJ-- REAL TALK, you're right! Totally let that one slip by me, it NEEDS to be on the list as well!


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